Girls Unscripted

nothing good can come from this

Crap, I forgot to think of a title.

Oh my god, guys. I just watched my parents obese cocker spaniel spend no less than five minutes working up the courage to climb up on a step stool (placed specifically for her to get up on the couch) and then heave herself onto the couch. I tried to take her picture just now to give you a genuine idea of how fat she is, but the flash on my phone made her look like a demon dog. Oh hell! I’m posting it anyways!


She doesn’t look very fat in this picture, but I guarantee you it’s comical to watch her try to jump up on the couch.

So I never posted our Halloween costumes, so TA-DAA!!! Fifteen days late and here they are!!!

There’s Isaac as Chucky. I bought him that knife a month ago and hid it in the top of the closet. He was so happy to get it back that he wouldn’t let go of it all night, thus completing the illusion! I’m such a genius!

And there’s me! That little brain slug was a bitch to make, but totally worth it.

And Bear is dressed as Pubert Addams! He totally pulled it off, too.


All that black goop in Bear’s hair looked really gross, but at least it was black. Both of the boys were recognized by nearly everybody, and I was the only proud parent of actually scary children. Every other kid at the little community trick-or-treat thing was dressed as batman, spider man, a fairy, or a cute little witch.  I know, I know, my day is coming. In a year or two Isaac will be old enough to choose his own costume and he’ll probably want to go as a Power Ranger or some shit, but whatever. I got to pick their costumes this year and I loved it!

I am fighting sleep. I’m at my parents house. Everyone is asleep and it’s not even eleven. It feels wrong to go to bed but I’m seriously considering it. It seems like such a waste of the alone time. I already tried calling Ortego, but the layabout has already gone to bed. And I just gave him Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 for our anniversary  too. He should be staying up all night playing that game, damn it! Also talking to me on the telephone!!

I’m just kidding, Ortego. I don’t blame you a bit for being tired and going to bed at the usual time. I’m the idiot whose considering staying up to watch a movie even though I’m ready for bed right now. God. This is sad. I’m 25 years old and can’t make it to eleven o’clock. This is what comes of having children. Be warned!

Screw it. I’m going to bed.