Girls Unscripted

nothing good can come from this

chicken aprons?

Oh my sweet zombie Jesus so much has happened in the past week and a half. The entirety of which I had no internet upon which to vent.

Let me begin by reminding my scant readers that I had mentioned that Ortego and I were moving. Well, the move has been completed. So now we’ve moved from here to Conway, where we lived for about five months, and now we’re back. It’s like we never left the house at all (aside from the gigantic sectional sofa we bought, that is.) It’s like the last five months were just this enormously long dream that never actually happened. Now I’ve woken up, and my house is exactly as I left it (aside from the two broken windows and the sofa. Did I mention that the renters broke two windows? They also nearly destroyed the carpet and left four trash bags worth of empty liquor bottles in the pantry. Thank god for our energetic trash men who diligently hoisted the extra trash bags into the garbage truck instead of leaving them in our yard because they wouldn’t fit in the bin.)

Isaac has taken to his room, too, as if he’d never been moved out of it. He is, however, being a giant brat to his brother. He particularly enjoys straddling the crawling Bear and attempting to ride him around the house, much to the consternation of his mount.

Speaking of his mount, Bear has totally learned to clap thanks to his grandmother.

Speaking of his grandmother, my mom has gotten some chickens this summer. You know how some people dress their little lap dogs in sweaters and shit? Well my mother, bless her, dresses her chickens in little backwards aprons. I swear to god it’s true. Look. I’ve even got photographic evidence:

This particular chicken is named Princess Stripes and this rocking chair is her favorite place to lay her eggs.

Now, in defense of my mother’s crazy, the aprons do serve a practical purpose. Apparently the rooster (dubbed Pretty Boy) is a rather aggressive lover and has scratched all of the feathers off of the chickens’ backs, which are now getting sunburned. Mom’s continued insistence that the aprons are “…just so cute!” tends to detract from the credibility of her argument, though.

Let’s see, what else? Well, we bought a new car in an effort to lower our payments. That’s not very interesting. Um, Bear has learned to clap. No wait, I already covered that one. Maybe I didn’t have that much to say after all. Well at least the chicken thing was humorous. I’m gonna go finish baking my cupcakes. Did I mention I was baking cupcakes? Probably not. Cupcakes aren’t very interesting either.